Saturday, July 12, 2014

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom

Sometimes in life you have to hit rock bottom in order regroup and start over again.  I would have never thought  I would be in this position again and from my perspective right now... it sucks..... salty monkey balls.  But, that's OK.  I will survive.  That's what I do.  I will shock and motivate people (including myself) on my journey, because that's what I do. 

The last couple of months have been hell on wheels for me personally.  I became overwhelmed with life and pretty much resigned myself to just letting the chips fall where they may.  And when I say, chips.... I'm talking about chips falling in the crevices of my keyboard.  Down the front of my blouse.  In between the seats of my car.... You get the picture.

I started stress/emotional eating.  This is something I hadn't done in years.  For every healthy meal I ate.  I ate four fatty, sugary laced, processed piles of crap. I was literally eating my feelings.  The crazy thing was... I had been eating healthy for so long, that my taste buds didn't appreciate the food.  I was stuffing myself with junk but wasn't even enjoying it.

 Oh!  But my fat cells were having an amazing time. So amazing that I gained a rapid amount of weight in a short time.  I almost think I broke a record. Like, who gains 15 lbs in less than a month?  This chick right here did.  Hey, I don't 'half' do anything.  I go ALL in!

 It wasn't like I wasn't working out.  But between being injured, unmotivated and eating 55million calories to the 600 calories I burned at boot camp the science of weight loss/weight gain went into FULL effect.

 Needless to say these recent 15lbs + some 2013 happy/sad/happy weight has me in a place I haven't been in about three to four years. A year long bout with runners knee (from late 2012-late 2013) took me from running 20 miles a week to ZERO.  I didn't want to walk because that was 'beneath' me. I was doing 5Ks, running 5-6 days a week and improving my pace.  Walking was for my cool down.  Well guess what?  Being prideful got me into this mess.  Now I'm once again on restriction because of an injury to a disc in my lower back.  Guess who's walking now? Funny how things circle back around to slap you in your face.  I'm no rocket scientist, but I believe the rapid weight gain was the straw that broke the camel's back.  LITERALLY.  And hell, most of the weight went in my butt.  I woke up one day and was like where did you come from?  It was like a foreign object had attached itself to my body.  And no... I've never had a small derrière, but overnight I picked up a CABOOSE.  And it moves..... a lot.....I feel like my rump is its own sovereign nation.  It moves independently of the rest of my body.  I can't have this!  And my clothes can't contain it either.  It's a monster I tell you!  I won't even get into the havoc that was wreaked on my midsection.

So.............. I'm on a mission.  I've got some goals and I'm not going to stop until I reach them.  Point blank and to the Period <in my Tamar B voice>.  I also have too many clothes cute clothes for me to have to start wearing Naturalizers or Birkenstocks because my butt broke my back!

"Comfort Sandals"


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